Am I worth for the wait?

what if? the one that you love is belong to someone else?
what if? your best girl in love with someone who loves you?
what if? you are in denial with yourself?

i hate to admit that i'm in self denial. i know it, i feel it, even worse, i chose it. i made some boundaries that i couldn't even obey. my head twisting. you were like the coolest thing on earth but i'm afraid to touch you even just the tip of your nose. i'm afraid for making the wrong movement. but truthfully, i'm afraid of get hurt twice.

reminiscing the old days, back then i used to cry, a lot, about some shit that really unnecessary, i'm afraid it'll happen, more and more or worse and worse. i was young and stupid back then, but if i let myself to fall again, do i even change to be more mature or i drag myself to the same hole?

if i'm asking you to wait, would you wait for me? am i worth for the wait?